This is where you stabbed my heart.

2008-11-24T16:12:00.001+08:00

Hi I know Kin haven't been updating her blog for a long while. Since she's so lazy. ME, NAS is now updating for her. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay we just finish shooting for our group project now. And we are waiting for time to pass by. 1630 PLEASE COME SOON I WANT TO GO HOME ): Its only 1611 so its like another 19 more minutes. I am so bored now they are watching youtube. Okay I have no more idea. Ciao :)

soo pain.

2008-05-09T00:05:00.000+08:00

life's getting tougher to cope nowadays. whats wrong with me????? I dont even know. been losing my appetite to eat. losing concentration in work. frequent absenteeism. but on top of all, my friends were there to support me. love you guys. god knows, how im suffering! woiii sakina mengucap byk2!

people are starting to wonder why im different, in a sense that im not as bubbly and cheerful as before. sighs. eeeeee!!!! i feel like screaming, hitting people..

que hiciste?

2008-04-23T14:15:00.000+08:00

hello one and all. my life is at a complicated end. but i keep thinking there's only one straight road onwards. and keep telling myself, its the right way, don't turning any other direction. friends have been my pillar for now. who knows how long it'll last aye? but still, i love my friends.

hear me roar

2008-03-04T14:40:00.002+08:00

new layout! its been about 4 months since i last updated huh? haha! sorry, been kinda busy lately. i wonder if anybody's viewing anyway. hahs. life's been hectic for 2008. alot of chaos and all. had a big fight with mr know-it-all yesterday. omg i fcuking hate him but i love him. lol. he's such a nuisance. he's like my shadow. haiya. gonna leave home soon for work! money money money, is like so crucial. i need to shop! feed my addiction! roar! and im gonna be a smoke machine. wawawawa.

wow.

2007-10-01T13:34:00.000+08:00

pizza hut date

2007-09-22T01:46:00.000+08:00

malas nye nak type panjang2.

First it was this.

And then become like this.

2 person only you know. me & the bestfriend, sha. total bill, $23. im so happy.
look at my kambeng face.

happy kan?
like wtf. ahaha. ribuan thank yous to the chef inside. love u! =D & sha, like finally you met nas. ahahahaha sorry eh. im such a bastard =p

bowling nite

2007-09-20T07:40:00.001+08:00

I didnt sleep at all. Thanks to the teh susu I had yesterday. Reached home at around 2.30am in the morning, bathed, lie down & wtf. I'm gonna come to work with super eyes. wow. awesome lah. anyway, didnt take too much pics. wasnt looking good(LOL). After work, the first stop was Spize. ate nasi goreng pattaya which wuz quite nice actually. am fully satisfied till i only ate grapes and drank water before dawn. went to Kim Seng plaza to play bowling. i wuz the only girl playing. sha was wearing a skirt but eventually she played once. talking to her sometimes make my blood boil =D wakakakak ok. it wuz a long time lah since i last played. i suck real bad. stress sak. i heard the bf plays better. stupid macam paham boy. gotta admit actually, my ego's quite high =] enjoyed the day/night man. fuck lahhh i still can't go to sleep. walauey this bf. requested a wake up call for school, eh, no, wake up callSSS. wakakakak. bah. stress -_-

Basketball?

just 150907.

2007-09-17T01:00:00.001+08:00

actually. im very lazeh to type anything. hmm. it wuz saturday. broke fast at sakura. total of 10 peeps. ate Gelare. I ate a choc chip waffle with choc overload ice cream while baby ate a caramel banana sundae. chilled at Starbucks(Raffles). then went outside of Raffles Shopping Centre. We saw a hindustan superman. ok go.

......uh

2007-09-15T00:57:00.000+08:00

Went out with 2 of the PPG's! and the bestfriend! and the boyfriend! last thursday! lawl! ate Sakura that day and head down to Ben&Jerry's for dessert after that. I came down late yo soooo sorray. i sanggup pay xtra tau! wawawawa! i had fun though! its been awhile since i met them. after emily went off, me, the bestfriend and boyfriend head down to kopitiam! then starbucks and ate cheesecake! i lurve the chocolate cream chip. *fantasizes* otey! pikchas do your thang.

and the lil tiff me and the bestfriend had is settled!

heartbreak sealed.

2007-09-08T01:47:00.001+08:00

bad ass quality pic. oh hell. met him & glad that the argument's settled. worked things out like grown ups, not kids('-')\/. it hurts & he didnt wanna see me leave as well. he took back all his words. the best thing about him is that he understands(quite), fuck, put it like HE IS THE KINDA GUY I WANTED ALL ALONG. although i always catch him looking at other girls, i know his heart is always mine, kan pantat? anyone that tries get in my way with him dies. so bitches keep off from my man. tomorrow is glam day for both of us and i can't wait! we'll be wearing green yo =D

i love you baby.

Dearest Shafiqah,
I know that youre mad at me. (gawd, i feel like im one of singapore's most hated) please dont 'cuz the argument didnt involve you at all ghurlie. ya dont have to put down da phone just like that ya know. ya gotta hear my explanation! oh well guess apologizing just aint enough right? be sure ya come on the 12th yo. i'll be looking forward and please don't resign so soon! =\ lastly, im so sorry bestfriend!!
love.

is it too late to apologize?

2007-09-07T00:12:00.000+08:00

i am your pain in your ass. why would you like a time off? no words can decipher how truly apologetic i am, so pathetic. its such a shame. i cant afford to lose you again. i cant afford to lose such a blessing. perhaps im too unperfect for you. and i can feel that you're giving up. you can never ever be replaced 'cuz no matter where i go, i'll always come running back to you. but now it seems like its different. did i pierce in the needle to hard? i guess so. life just simply isn't fair. im sorry if i wasnt there when you needed me. im sorry for the times that i neglected you. im sorry i don't have a way with words to please or calm you down. im sorry i didn't take any initiative for cheering you up. im sorry. i only got myself to blame if you up and leave me, only myself if u replace me for someone better in your heart. you know, meeting you up everyday is like Valentine's. feeling loved is like the greatest feeling ever. i posted this up so that everyboday can see that i'm such a murderous-hurting-people bitch.

so baby please accept my apology?

3months and counting baby.

2007-09-05T22:38:00.000+08:00

OMG its been like so long since I last updated.

Yesterday was fuck. I suddenly felt that working sucks. I so fucking hate that old manager. I want him to be fucking transferred ASAP. Decided to take leave tomorrow & take the whole week off next week. I just hope Shafiqah doesn't resign so soon!

Oh man the fasting month is coming up soon and I can't wait to starve! I love raya.

These few months being with him was wonderful. I love him to da core sak WOOO. Every saturday is a must that we hang out. Looking at his puffy face makes me soooo fucking happy =D hung out at ma crib today. Had a poking challenge, pespired like crazy and watched Rush Hour 3, midway. Haha. Sometimes he's such an annoyance and an irritant but oh well, love conquers all. I hope ya get that attachment aitey. fingers crossed.

I love you baby sayang pantatface seposen .

2007-08-10T22:01:00.000+08:00

happy belated 42nd bdae Singapurra! =D

too tired to eat? ahahahaha. (face disclosed)

Went out with Dearest yesterday. Ate at Swensens! Fondue baby! Finally! lol.

I love every bit of him so much.
I never wanna lose him.

whaddup whaddup

2007-07-25T23:01:00.000+08:00

bored xia.

today was okay. idk what to say acutally. wahahaha =/ got a call from Daniel about school. Cuz my attendance's horrible terrible vegetable. I'm so fcuking lazy to wake up haaaaaaa. Havta see him tomorrow along with some other people from my class. I want to graduate lahhhh cepat cepat.

ehm, work wise, I SOO HATE working with this new store manager. OMG I tell ya, I can die man. Once I see his face, my mood will be totally gone and idk why. Come to think of it uh, I'm so not in the mood to type anything about that old guy. I just hope he gets transferred asap. Other than that, working is like normal. Nothing new except, Shafiqah's the one I'm reallay close to uh of course.

3 August will be the 2nd month of our relationship. Things are going smooth, I guess. Argued over something today. Maybe I'm just some paperdoll yea. I don't live up people's expectations. I'm just oh so useless as ever. No point trying anyway, since nothing works. Oh well...

dang

2007-07-18T23:07:00.000+08:00

okay okay okay okay okay.
i shall now updato~ =D

school's gettin bo-rangggggg.
im losing my interest.
but i love my friends okay!
went to town with Lengs today.
superb time beb.
laugh alot yo. hahaha.

hmm, wonder if i could trust u anot eh.
apapela kans.
hahaa.
lazy =P

sheep sheep.

2007-06-17T14:37:00.000+08:00

its raining men. i'm stuck at home now. waiting for daddy dearest to come home from work. hehs. kinda bored now. the brother's sleeping after being out the whole day yesterday. grown up already lah tu ahahaha mcm phm. i'm like strumming the guitar to a stupid tune hahaha freakin boring lahhh.

typed stupid comments with Nas yesternight. ee-dee-yot rhymes with semot selimot wtf hahaha. cheered me up a bit thinkin bout it yo.

got into a stupid argument the same night. idk what came over me uh. sorry love. can I give u my heart? =p

gonna be working from Monday to Thursday next week. i need money okay, who doesn't? oh yeah as well as, kasih sayangggggggggggg lol..

prettay lame ain't i? yes i know shuddup lahh talk to my hand =D

somebody entertain me prease! take me out or something hahaha yeay.

xoxo.

2007-06-15T22:44:00.000+08:00

lol.

Here goes my next entry okay ready? ready? ready? ready? hahs. Went to school super early lah today. Because of that boy! He wanna see whether I could wake up and be in school on time. And we had a draw okehh, bebeh hahaha. Passed the EE test which I missed and with help from the book and everaybodayyy I love you all muax muax lol. Had such a blast in school. I really can't wait for the Sentosa trip can? lol.

Recently, I got a call from a company to come down for an interview. I was one of the selected students etc. I actually got the job lah but I kinda turn it down. It's like I'm doing the same thing as my dad and he advised me not to focus so much. The company basically sells health products and stuff. Maybe cuz I talk alot that's why they called. I really let Fad down tho. =/ think I'll stay in TCC fo now. Everybody's like resigning lahs. It's becoming like Chinatown there. Maybe I've yet to feel what they felt after working so long there. Hold on KINNNN. hahs

And now, I feel like crap. I just wished that nothing happened you know? It turned out to be real and not some fantasy. I wanna just throw everythin outta my mind and live my life normally. Well, if I die one day, I'm sorry honey, thanks for the memories =D

fuck.

2007-06-11T21:04:00.000+08:00

Oh man, today's my rest day. Yeah I didn't attend school today cuz I'm very very tired. 3 days straight I'm out shopping and working. Woo. Daym. Anyway, got a test comin up this wednesday. Oh gawd. Met that sumone yesterday, followed by Shafiqah. Yeay! She brightened up my day lah yesterday. Thanx doll. Tomorrow's school and I have to drag my ass to work 2-10 tomorrow. Fuck was the word I said most yesterday cuz I was pissed off. lol.

Omg. What's wrong with guys nowadays? They say they love you. But outside, they act totally different. When you say you love someone, you love them for who they are and not how they fucking look luh. If that's the case, why bother being in a relationship with a girl who's ugly? Why bother calling that girl your girlfriend?? Is it cuz you don't have anyone to talk to at night? Or is it cuz when you're bored, you come looking for your so called girlfriend? FUCK lah. GO GET SOMEONE PREFECT THEN! Go get someone slim and chest like papan! Appreciate! fo goodness sake. It's the inside that matters not the outside. I think that line is out of date cuz all guys are stupid. No offence to those who are good-hearted, as if.

I don't care lahhhhhhhhhhh. go to hell.

blablablablablabla

2007-06-08T10:00:00.000+08:00

I decided to update cuz of Sue bebehs.
im in sch now haha.
pure boredom.
the assignment given was to create some database wtf wtf.
and I can't have access to the software lahhhhhhhh.
stupid siak.
I'm like stuck here doing nothang. omg.
EH SUE ASAL TK DATANG!
kan aku dah marah kannnnn lol.
this comp super lag man.
everything new but useless.
jus feel like taking the monitor home ahaha =D
can't wait for the Sentosa trip.
I'm starting to love my classmates <3

anyway, what's 'tulang kering'?
my brother said it's not seasoned wtf???
seasoned????
hahhhhhhhhhh kanasai
I'm malay, but I sometimes suck at it =/

and..
am I really supposed to be in love again?
I have no feeling eh how ah? how?
tell me why~ ahahaha lame.

replies!
sulastrie/dilemmastar: OI! ahahahahaha yeayy aku miss kau ! aku lagi mendaks sia -_-
acah: pleasure =D dun sad2 okay? okay? smile big big.
faz: YOOOOOOOOOOO =D

One Shot

2007-06-06T00:55:00.000+08:00

I feel fuct up, sore and like a loser
which puts me in the emotion of total rancour
livin in a world of such indifference
heartbreaks, pain, tears, it was a massacre

2 double 07, a new life begins
tryin to fit in and forget the past sins
one shot's all I've got, I just have to live full
cuz dyin too soon transforms a future in fumes

A friend told me, "In Life, you should learn,
not thinkin bout the pain, how ya cried as they earned
the happiness ya had cuz it will be recovered
don't start to ponder
karma baby's still around, don't ya remember?"
Yup. As days go by ma life had turned brighter
stopped pressurin maself wit words of such betrayers
disasters, assholes and stupid bastards
Fuuccckkk yaaa'll.
Ma life ain't goin backwards =)

I WAS DARED LAH TO PUT THIS PIC.

AMEK KAU SETAN.
AHAHAHA.
I LOOK REALLAY STUPID LAH OKAY.
it cheered me up anyway ahahaha.
I GOT 2 DOLLARS! IM RICH! AHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAA =D

uhh...okayy...

2007-05-28T20:48:00.000+08:00

I feel like oh whatever right now. Yesterday was bullshit. Today is as well. But I met Mira which made me happy, enough. But I end up feeling like shit again when I reached home. I date myself yesterday. My classmates rock. School suck.

I ate this.

And I end up wasting my cash by not finishing everything =))

untitled.

2007-05-25T18:44:00.000+08:00

hellooooo to everybody lah okay. hehs.

Erm, first up. School. Omg I slept like I dunno what in the bus on the way to school. Really tired cuz was working 5-10 the night before. Anyhoooo, today everything ended at 10, I think. Mr Famous Amos wasn't free. Hahs. Went home together with Sue & Nas. Before that, we hang out at the canteen for about an hour plus plusss haha. Laugh about stupid stuff. Maybe I was in a "slenge" mode just now. "Slenge" means, uhhh, hahahaha slow uh I think. Hahaha. -_-

Second, I swear I won't be bad again. My darlins should know why =) Ate 2 banana fritters with dearest Daddy as a celebration. Hahaha. Love my daddy lahs.

Third, I just feel that some guys are really just plain idiotic lahs. Idiotic jerks. Assholes. Haha. Thanks for making me feel like a worthless piece of paper yeah. I LOVE IT OKAY.

Last, I hate it when people keep knocking on my house door like I owe them something. Especially the guy next door.
"BANG! BANG! HALO! HALO HALO"
stupid man. say halo to your fcuking self lah.

Replies to tags!
acah: hahahaha strong mentally and physically. *rolls around* muahhsss!
leng: on ahhh! hahahaha lolx. Looking at Daniel's face makes me wanna laugh sia. How? hahahaa.
sue: No worries babe. YOU BE STRONG OKAY! Kalau tak, aku semack that pantat kau. lol.
AKUEMOBODOH: Stop it lah emo emo emo emo hahahaha. TAG! TAG! WOO~ hahaa

ehhh =D

2007-05-22T20:51:00.000+08:00

Ah. I dunno why but I really like this smiley -> =D Hahahaha lame. Well, school was okay lah just now. Exams are up in two weeks bebehs. I'm kinda struggling okay. Hope I'll do fine and won't get electrocuted for some reason hmmmmmm...

I knew I should've come to school yesterday. I felt like shit in class just now hahaha some of my classmates know. I have to find a thumb drive somewhere to store all my work in. If everything gets lost, I'll be really fcuking pissed off sia. Pfft.

Eh I can't remember what time I'm supposed to come to school tomorrow. Alah later then I check hahaha. Its 9 plus and I wonder if I can sleep tonight hey. Feeling so hyperactive lah. Shits.

Uhh what else ahh.. Lemme think..

Oh yeah I feel like graduating.

single life.

2007-05-21T22:29:00.000+08:00

Okay world.

Kinnie's single again =].

I really believe in karma. It does go around you know. I love it when it hits somebody back. Let the person taste their own medicine and I can try out my evil laugh.

Oh wells.

Thanks to the people who gave me support. Hearts to ya'll.

memories.

2007-05-15T21:42:00.000+08:00

Ohhg man. Still can't forget the memories I had in 2005/6. Chillin out with da peeps and all. The times when I and my cliques went out to town almost every weekend. The stupid thangs that we would do everyday. I'll do anythang to get that back.. Life back then was heaven but I never cherished it well. That was my 'fatal' mistake. You may be wonderin why I'm typing out all these right? Well, was browsin thru the old comments/testimonials from Friendster and I was like, gawd I feel stupid & what have I done that kinda thang.

I miss class sec 3 and 4F. Sleepin durin lessons. Throwin papers at others. Disruptin teachers when they're teachin. Winning the title of the most received-complaints-about class in TWSS.
Crazy classmates calling me names like sakendeq, hercules, worm hahaha. Stupid jokes. The time I got sabo-ed real baddd, I ate tissue paper by mistake of a piece of roti prata hahaha.

LOVE. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. It was confusing. I break people's hearts and they broke mine. Well, in fact I really broke someone's heart before. He's the most caring person in da world I guess. So flower2. Gave ourselves nicknames. Haha. Nah its over anyway. Although I still wonder why...

Wokay. It's 2007 now and thangs definitely changed, alot. Friends seperate to their own busy lives. Different school and a different life. Well, I met quite a number of new people but I still miss the old times okay haha. 2007 has nothing special in store for me lehh. Why uh? =/

I'll be more than happy la to meet them again.

Arghh I hate jerks! Idiotic jerksssss! Just thinking about that could give me a headache.

Okay I still feel stupid.

i'm still hoping for a nice day to come.

2007-05-14T00:22:00.000+08:00

Went shopping with my brother today. We surely had lotsa fun. Haha. Bought a Little Miss Chatterbox tee from Queen's Couture and the Esprit bag I wanted.

Have to go to school tomorrow... I HATE SCHOOL. Such a chore. I feel like doing nothing at all. How I wish I could repeat back time... 2-3 years back... That was the time I was really free and quite loving it. Time goes by and its already 2007 -_-.

And I found out about somethting which really pissed me off. Argh damn fcuking liar! wooooo my heart is on fire. HAAAAAAAAAhaha nonsense.

Guys are jerks aren't they girls? hahahahahahaahhh sorry eh if terase =D

Somebody ask me out please? I'm really bored hahs.

Btw, would like to wish my dearest Shafiqah a happy 18th birthday, sweetface Liana a happy 19th birthday and shayangku sHaHiDaaaaaaaaaaaa a happy 17th eh? birthday! May all wishes come true yea! XOXO.

I really miss my girlfriends..
2nd June okay?
Please jgn tak jadi!

muax.

only this moment.

2007-05-12T22:13:00.000+08:00

Days past and I'm feeling nothing still. Haha. What's wrong with me? Hahahaha. School's like I dunno what. Work was fine. But today there's lotsa crappy customers. I have to face their crappy faces like wtf. Haaaa. Oh wells. Okay I'm starting to feel lazy to type.

Replies!
acah : ahahaha =D i saw you! lol.
linda: hey sweets. dun worry lah. I dun feel anything now.
sabrina: aww thanx sweetface. But I don't think theres no point talking to him =/.
syzwyshuk: okay relinked dude! =D
faz: Heyy fazzie =D
Zoolaa: bloghop jugak eh kau. ahahaha. bored sia.

note to you..

2007-05-06T21:53:00.000+08:00

Maybe we were just not meant to be... We keep on having fights, arguments and such these days... Ever since I stepped into ITE... He kept saying that ITE changed everything... I know myself... I won't fall into traps that easily this time... I'm only there to study...But suddenly I lost my interest in school... My friends in school were great... I'll just keep prayin that I'll hang on for 2 years there...

The school is not the point anyway... It has absolutely nothin to do with my relationship with him... I just don't know why he suddenly changed... Yes, I was reluctant to step into ITE before.. But I failed my o levels and my parents encouraged me to keep schooling... What am I to do?... I can't retake cuz I'll definitely fail... Nobody knows me more than I do...
He keeps accusing me of chatting with someone else one day in school... I really didn't realise he was online... I swear... I was online to send html stuff to my friend and back cuz I was lazy to type everything... My phone was in silent mode as well... Suddenly I feel the urge to text and call him... He won't answer my calls... It really took a while for him to reply and he said I completely ignored him online... Said my friendster and myspace were full of stupid comments from jerks... I swear I didn't realise he was online... I kept apologizing and stuff for the whole day.... He indirectly said that "I" change his msn password... He still won't believe what I said and kept on accusing me of such things I won't do.... Don't you think that all this were caused by some misunderstanding?....And can be settled?...

Untill I couldn't take it anymore....

Maybe breaking up is the best option... Yes, 2 years+ was such a waste to let go....I know..
But can you take it when your own loved one won't believe anything you said?....
How would you feel if your own loved one accuse you of such things you won't do?....
How would you feel to be something for him to throw his anger at?....

We do have wonderful memories... Both happy and sad.. He makes me feel happy and loved... He lightens up my day... Sends me sweet messages... We were in love...

But all that didn't happen since god knows when?...

Am I too demanding?... My tears are worth nothing now... My heart began to ache so much....

Why can't you put your pride and ego aside and let me have some space in your heart?....

I feel so miserable...
My friends and my family is all I got left...
But...
My parents are not always at home cuz they are busy working....
My lil brother always spends his time at my gran's crib...
My friends can't always be there for me cuz they too also have problems of their own...

Guess I'm on my own now...
Guys sure love putting his pride first above anything else....

new layout.

2007-05-05T23:54:00.000+08:00

Here's my new layout! =] I just love this song.. It may be quite some time but I just love it lah. Hehe. Fights with the bf again since the last 2 days... I'm tired and hurt as well... I just hope things turned out better as time goes by...

ANYWAY...
I was browsin thru my archive and I found a really stupid entry I post up on my birthday 2 years ago.. I feel like an idiot after reading what rubbish I wrote sia.. lol...

here it goes..

Jengjengjeng~! hehehe.. officially 15! make i/c! hahaha! so much fun todae! e physics paper ended @ 915.. we enjoy lah after that.. Unluckily.. my deng2 frens.. were playing wit my fone.. didnt realise that Mrs.Phua was looking at them.. i was at the staircase waiting fer them to hurry up..they were still in front of e classrm.. And then, she approached the dengdengs.. "Give me your phone..Now".. Alamak.. start cursing sak..in tots i said,"Hp aru belik sak! gerek arh niarie!"..Then,mentang2 dah 15 todae.. da besar.. daring2 la.. the dengdengs were scared.. i was terrified lah!(haiyo!my fone oke!!)..i quietly sneaked behind mira.. grabbed my phone.. and ran awae.. run like hell ..at the traffic lite above the slope then i stop..(2.4 pass wuhuu.. 4.8 sini mari..wehee!).. i can hear Mrs.Phua screaming.."Hey girl! Come back! Come back! whats her name!? her name?!"..the dengdengs were of cuz tahan-ed lah.. dun stupid2 tell e idiot my name suar..Met atiqah on e wae (lari klua skola)..she wondered,"Oi sakendeq..asl ko sorang?dorang mane?"..i..like org gile..replied,"Aku lari dari cekgu larh sak!Nampak hp tros nk tarek!Cabot arh!aru belik sial..".. ewah2..exciting gitu ehh..heheh.. Atiqah giggled.. niwae..i was told that Mrs.Phua pulled Mira and the dengs to the General Office..for wat? c OM...how stupid can this tuek teacher can be... GO TELL OM FOR WAT SIAL!TAULAH TKLE BAWAK..DABES SKOLA PER!.. and *toot* goes on... Meanwhile, near the traffic lite, my hands are numb..cannot feel anitink...scared like *toot*.."Tkpelah..mcm si Zainal nak carik kau sak..naseb baek ko tk skola bsok..hrp2 dier tk carik ah.."Iqah said.."Yela aku tau..lau dier knal aku camane?Lau deng2 kt dlm terblang name aku camane?Dahla prefect sak.. Hrp2 ah tkde pape..",i said..(mls btui ako nk jadik prefect..membazira current ako) ..Wait..wait..wait.. like dunnoe wat.. Udin appeared.. "Eh,Sakina,kwn2 kau carik kau.." "Dorg kt ner?Jgn kt dlm skola suar.." "Tklah..dorg kt dpan gate tu..ko pegi arh..bye"..(udin blah,ako pkt dorg..).."OI! Korg ade blang name ako pat cekgu tak?!"i asked.."Ah!"Fida said.... Suddenly..Mira cut e conversation halfwae.."oh tkdelah! itu..itu..yg itu.."(eksen "itu" kerr.."itu" aperr?heh) After that..changed tha topic.. dey can never escape from me la.. i will owaes remain suspicious.. they pretend but dey dunno how to lie..(Paham?Tk?oh tu ko nye pasal..=D)..I walked off.. very very very NOT in the mood..with Atiqah along..hepi dgr discman....Went to Lot 1's Mac.. dey talk..talk..talk..talk..pujuk..pujuk..sedih..sedih..tak selese..tk selese..(allahuakhbar~) With the malas to layan, blanjer-ed dem.."Kau nk mkn ape?Meh aku belikan.." "Taknak2..aku blanje..korg mkn.." den blablabla..in e end..change of my mood..hepi..sedikiiitt saje..tap tk mkn lah..aku minum air tadi pagi..tros kenyang..(bole gitu eh..) ..lenggang lenggung.. SABO-ed! with Tepong+Flour(same la..)+Nestum(baby nye mkn eh?)+dead frogs(kiwak..giler sak!).. Hit by flour by Fida ferst..she fell..i oso fell..got up.. ran around 5 blocks and hide..too bad theyre abit selow..wekekekkek..hid on level 2 of a block..saw them walkin around wif flour like paikias!! wahahah! tkleh angkat ako..=p.. i went down.. saw them.. said "yuhuuu!"..then i ran.. tenkiu god i can run..whee!.. ran..untill i reached in front of the foodcourt.. near the field..(dkat2 Lot 1 lah) .. ppl stare at me.. why is dis gurl in blue suddenly turns white..the MOST BONUS QUESTION OF E CENTURY..in e end.. hit again by Fida.. wit watthe*toot* is Nestum n frogs.. i scream like *toot*..ran after them.. hit them back..hahahassss! After all the catastrophe(ewah2..english power arh dek..) ..went to toilet..take bus..go home.. all the ppl..staring at me..i no heran..jus wanna go home.. and mandi..(fresh cam kuda man!!) heheh.. end of setory.. Panjang beno cite ako ni haa! Menarek sungguh iyo! hahahahahaiii~!

WHADDUFUCK?
kental right?
that was me a few years back.
full of fucking nonsense..

I STILL LOVE MY BOYFRIEND <33333!!!
LET'S MEET UP SOON OKAY BABY!!!
MWAHHHHS!
XOXO

what did you do?

2007-04-29T12:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday we were dreaming of a perfect world,
Yesterday our lips needed no words,
Because we could see our souls in our eyes,
And truth had no doubt in your eyes,
Yesterday we promised each other we would conquer the whole world,
Yesterday you swore that our love would be eternal,
Because one mistake is enough,
To learn what it is to truly love.

What did you do??
Today with your pride you destroyed hope,
You blurred my sight with your fury,
You erased our history with your anger,
And mistook all the love I was giving you,
Allowing you to break my soul.

What did you do??
You forced us to destroy our sunrises,
Forgetting our nights with your words,
My illusions ended with your lies,
Your forgot that it was love that matters,
And with your hands you destroyed our house,
Tomorrow a new day will rise in my universe,
Tomorrow I will not see your name written in my verses.

I will not listen to apologies,
I will ignore your remorse without guilt,
Tomorrow I will forget that yesterday I was your faithful lover,
Tomorrow I will have no reason to hate you,
I will erase your dreams with my dreams,
The wind will blow away my memories of you forever...

live, love, die, once.

2007-04-27T22:17:00.000+08:00

I just wanna type one whole chunk of things I wanna say to my bf.
I love you.
I don't hate you =D.
I simpan you inside my heart.
I jage btol2.
uhhhh...
You were always there for me? hee..
You are my bear I love to hug.
Even though you don't pamper me with things, you shower me with love? can?
(fuyoohhhhhahaha mcm phm hahaha)

please don't raise your voice at me.
i'll raise my voice at you back kayy??

COUNTDOWN TO 2 YEARS BAYBEHH.
010505
STILL GOING STRONG.

Ohhhh yeah.
School was gayrek.
the friends are sooo friendly.
i so very hate the engineering module which has PHYSICS.
overall, i love lahhh. hehehehehehehehheehhehe

oh youre so finee...

2007-04-24T14:11:00.000+08:00

whaddup?
up comes an entry =D im kinda bored right now. I mean really bored. Skipped school. lol. This bf lah. Alah lazy to spit the details. Goshhh I miss working. It's been a week! Anyway, I gained weight. Im getting fat. OMG. Better do something FAST.

Other than that, I'm worried about something personal right now. I just wish the days could go by as quick as possible. Please god I don't mean to do these kind of things. I hope you forgive me and that I promise to be strong and stand up for myself. Please...

ehh?

2007-04-11T19:42:00.000+08:00

=D Lotsa strange occurrances occurred(hehe?) today. When I was on my way to work, suddenly got this indian fella stood right in front of me. He smiled and I was like "Can I help you?" He answered "Hello, are you Singaporean? U malay? Muslim? Asalamualaikum. Hehhe"

Shit.

I was stopped by a psycho.

Of course the "Asalamualaikum" part I answered back la. I was avoiding him as much as I can and I kept saying I'm late for work but I'm way early. He asked what my name was and I said Syahirah. He asked me where I am working, I said KFC. Pandai kan? kan? And the last question was the most awkward thing he asked..

"Do you like me? I'd like to be friends with you? Do you have many friends? Why you don't want to become my friend? What time you finish work? You give me your contact number? Where you want to meet after you work?"

I was walking as fast as I can and suddenly I couldn't take it anymore..

"FUCK OFF LA"
and I ran away.

HAHAHAHAA. FUN SIA.

replies to shoutouts!
faz: 0_o? HAHAHA. hee =D
Hanyo: BBQ? alamakx. since when uh? I WAS NOT INFORMED!
ayume: relinked shweets!
SHACUTE: HEYY SHACUTEEE. miss you too lah babe! hehehe. bz uh lately!!!kk next time online kite msn2 yahh! =)
ZOOLAA: yelahhh!! mane korg!!!
linda: Yah sey.. that day I was bored uh jln2 kt westmall mcm biol. Was hungry and decided to eat at swensens. haha!

olaaaaaaaa

2007-04-04T23:34:00.000+08:00

Another entry coming up! ehehhh =D Spent the entire day at home, again, with beloved mom. Relax, watch tv and stuff. Today mom cooked broccoli with something, beef(i think) with something and sweet and sour grouper. OUCH! my fav! Even though I don't quite know what are the ingredients. Anyhow, I'm happy, everyone happy lah heheheheheh.

Working the shift of 1 to 9 besok! Wonder who's working tomorrow. No matter who also I'm happy lahhh. No problem~ If I have any comment, I just smile you know? Cool kan? Hahahah. I'm typing rubbish! Hee, I just wanna fill up space and anything that comes flashing through my mind, I just type it in HERE =x.

School's starting soon and I'm ready to graduate as soon as possible.

I MISS THEM =D

AND I MISS MY BEAR BOYFRIEND AS WELL.
LOVE!!

untitled

2007-03-31T00:29:00.000+08:00

Nothing going on much today. Spent most of the day at home doing nothing and chit chatting with mom. Things went back to normal with bf, again. Wish the routine of "on & off fights" would go away. God knows how we've suffered. It's been almost 2 years we've been together and we know each other inside out. I'm always on his mind and he's always on my mind. Sometimes in each others' throat =D. Anyhoos, I still love him. Hope we'll stay strong as always.

i miss his hair . . .

Working the opening shift tomorrow! And I'm still here WIDE awake. Hope I won't be late and see Emily's face all black. Heex.

I ate this yesterday. ON MY OWN. Hahaha how pathetic I can be.

uhh..?

2007-03-29T01:15:00.000+08:00

HELLO!

rotten beginnings..

2007-02-27T01:54:00.000+08:00

Hahs.
Even my manager said that I'm under depression.
Somehow, she's kinda right.
Anyway, I'm so lazy to update nowadays.
Cuz my life just went down the drain.
I have nobody, I mean really nobody to turn to right now.
I'm feeling so fuct up.
So fuct up that I can't describe the feeling that kinda thing yea?
Living my life is so I don't know what to say.
Fuck lah.
Everybody cannot be trusted.

whooppsss! Secret revealed

2007-01-10T16:11:00.000+08:00

Another entry to put up yahhhh..
Anyways, I'm alone at home with absolutely nothing better to do. Everyday feels like a routine. I'm only busy with work work work haaaaa. Work's fine. I'm slowly getting used to the bar now. Haha. God knows I'm trying to =D.

I'm just gonna state every thought here since I'm feeling so fuct up. I can't say whatever my problem is to that person man. It's like everytime when I do,that person will get like so frustrated and stuff and the words that came out of that person's mouth is laced with sarcasm, which, that person refuse to admit. The person can't take simple jokes. That person only apologizes when I'm seriously damn hurt. I really thought that the person understands. Oh well, guess I'm wrong. I feel like shit. Oh wait, I feel worst than shit, I feel nothing. I JUST WANNA BE REALLAYYY REALLAYYY HAPPYY FOR ONCE MAN. A simple favour to ask from that person WAS LIKE A FCUKING DEADLY CHORE. WTF? HELP. I waste my tears everytime we fought. I AM SO SICK AND TIRED. I HOPE YOU REALISE THAT. PLEASE, ADD COLOUR TO MY LIFE.

Every entry I put up is like an episode of a stupid drama.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaahaw.

Countdown 07

2007-01-01T23:29:00.000+08:00

Countdown at Sentosa with the boyfriend was great. We had a tiff at around 5am when he saw some guy texted me on my phone wishing me Happy New Year etc.I finally got to sleep that night at 3am, but for only for 2 hours when he was throwing a tantrum.

OH WELL IT WAS FUN ANYWAY. HAHAHAHA
HAPPY 2007 BABIES!

Losta lurveee!
XOXO

blearghhhh....

2006-12-21T00:07:00.000+08:00

First and foremost, I would like to wish my girlfriend for almost 4 years, Nuramira a happy belated 17th birthday! Love ya lots and have a wonderful life ahead shweets!

Stuupid photobucket took such a long time to reload! And my stuupidderr computer is kinda down so I don't really have time to post anything up. So sorry ya'll!

Anyway, I'm fine =D.
Gooddaayy ~

a new chapter begins..

2006-11-23T23:55:00.000+08:00

Ola! Went for several job applications on the 17th of this month and finally, I got a job. Hooorayyyyyyyyyyyy. The pay's good. The hours are flexible =D. Now I'm just waiting for the result of the o's.

The first day of work was on Wednesday. It was fun. Hahs. Will be working from 3pm to 10pm tomorrow =/.

I can't wait for the outing on the 22nd of dec! Girlsss day out! =D

Actually I'm lazy to type. hahahaha. I don't know what else to type!

I AM MISSING YOU SO BADLY LOVE!
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN....

if you love me then thank you, if you hate me then fcuk you=)

2006-11-15T19:16:00.000+08:00

Ola.. I'm bored. And kinda sleepy also. I can't waiiitttt for the O's to come to a complete end! It seems that the days passing by is just so long.

Will be watching a movie at Vivocity on the 20th with Fida most probably. YEAY FREE GOLDEN VILLAGE TIX! Free movie here we comeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ Okay I don't have a clue on what to type next.

Oh yeah.
My name is Sakina yeaaaaaaaa.
My name does not have a nur, siti, nurul or whatsoever yeaaaaaaaa.
My name has no H in it yeaaaaaaa.
My name is not spelled as Shakina, Shakinah or Sakinah yeaaaaaaa.

It's so easy to pronounce. My name isn't spelled like Xsaqienaa or wjehakjh..

thankss eh okay bye!

2006-11-12T20:41:00.000+08:00

WOOOOO... 2 more papers to go, F&N and Science P1. After that, I AM FREEEE! HAHS! I'm gonna dye my hair and stuff =D. Upon hearing what my friends said about taking private or going to shatec and stuff, I may have made up my mind on where to go. The answer will only be with me. No revealing for now nyahahah.

Now, I am just going to free my mind. I don't wanna think much about anything. Will be looking for a job on the 17th with Lynn. Fida was unable to make it cuz shes raya-ing with her primary school friends. Perhaps I'll go with her on the 20th. Aiyoo wrong timing sey Fida...

I am so getting fat. Today is the 2nd day of going to the gym. Haha! I feel so much better after working out cuz it's been awhile since I stepped into the gym. I just hope to lose all the FATS in me as soon as possible. God knows how uncomfortable I'm feeling right now =/.

Dear God, I am in a fat suit and it won't come off.
=D

3 weeks more to go till my man is on the grounds of the Lion Cityy! Yeay!

hiatus

2006-11-01T13:59:00.000+08:00

Hello all you invisible people. Well, you are to me =D.

I AM MISSING MY BOYFRIEND SO BADLY.

He'll be back in around 6 weeks. But it seems like years for me of course. Hari raya was so boring, but I got a lot of green packets and I really wonder how. 24 October was the day he went away. Remember me saying that I couldn't see him before he goes? Well I did, eventually.
My dad ran out of ideas on where to go next. So, I quickly rushed down to love's crib. And He had this big smile for me. It was hard to see him go so far away..

O levels are next week and I already felt like I failed. No matter how much I studied for maths, I still couldn't absorb much. Which leaves a conclusion.
I'm gonna take a Diploma course outside since I really couldn't pass my maths.
If I can't, I'll just find another way to further my education.
Thank you all my friends in school for supporting me to try hard, I'm afraid I let you all down..

WISH ME LUCK ALL.
XOXO

cough*

2006-10-22T13:31:00.000+08:00

Hello Hello all you blogreadersss! =D

Today, I just feel like posting something up. Kinda feeling bored anyway. It'a raining. Sigh~. Hmm.. let's recap.
Suddenly I fell sick over the past few days. I was down with a fever and when it subsided, the coughing breaks out. I think its becuase of this haze conquering this small island. But nevermind, at least its slowly disappearing. I lost my voice during the first few days. I sound like a some mute freak trying to say something so hard.

O levels are drawing nearer. I did so badly for my prelims. I wonder how I'm gonna cope for the actual exams. The Science Practical was down. I find it okay cuz' its similar to the prelim paper. But I'm not confident for the physics part. =/.
I was thinking of taking private for maths. Because I'm so gonna fail my maths paper.

My phone line is expiring. Urgh! In 2 days or so, the line will be terminated. Tomorrow's phone hunting day with mum. Yeeea!

I'm so bored at home. Had a fight with the bf again. He's gonna leave for Australia for 2 months of training or something on Hari Raya evening. Poor thing... I really do want to see you at departure but I can't. I will try though. Im really gonna miss you so much. Always remember that I love you okay? Please don't pressurize me saying that I'm gonna leave for someone new. All this depends on our fate =).

HARI RAYA IS COMING AND I CAN'T WAIT HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYEAAA!

I TURN 17

2006-10-11T21:10:00.000+08:00

I AM OFFICIALLY SEVENTEEN TODAY. NYAHAHAHAHA.

Evil eh?

Its been so long since I've updated this blog! Sorry to those who are dying to see this thing updated! My comp rosak-rosak(spoil-spoil) uh! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee! I came late for class today. Again. AHAHAAAAAAA. Got a call from Fida, then I rushed to school wearing jeans =DDD. Beofre I stepped ou of the house, the Xtremely Brain-damaging Mdm Lim BB called. I was thinking who is this nyonya calling and wanting to talk to my parents. Needless to say, her voice does seem like a nyonya's. Anyway, she called me up to pay $55 bucks for the enrichment course during the hols. My edusave has insufficient amount pay. WHAT DID I EVER DO MY EDUSAVE ACCOUNT SIA. IF ITS IN CASH STATE UNDERSTANDABLE LA. I CAN SPEND =D. I ended up saying that I'll pay tomorrow. Reason being is that I have no money lah.

Both my parents are working. My brother is out playing badminton. I can't get out of the house because of the fucking curfew I got. AND I REALLY, I MEAN REALLY DON'T SEEM TO ENJOY MY DAY TODAY. IM SO FRIGGING BORED ='(.

ANYWAY, THERES ONLY 2 PARTS OF THE DAY THAT I ENJOYED. I GOT SABO-ED~! By who else but my only Fidayuiza, along with Acah, Suzanna & Jannah. Got flour and water all over until we got home. After running and running around, I got hold of the flour and throw it on them instead of myself. AHAHAHAHAHR! RAWR! I love it! And the second part was the wishes that I got when the clock strikes 12. I love you all too.

I did pretty badly for my prelims. And I am so struggling right now. So, I might not be posting entries for a while. On certain days when I feel like posting then I post lah =)) okay bye loves!

replies to taggies!:
linda: hello! thankieww for the wish babe! ure linked btw! =D
sean: what oi oi? hahahahr kidding. thanks dude! okay i'll try hard =))
kynz: heyy! thankiew doll!
fish: thanks fishhh! i will!! =DD
MizKiss: da lame aku tk nmpk kau! thanks doll! =DD
asrinah: yeyy! thank u syg!!! i will and you too kayy!

alot of thanks yeaaa. ahahahah

THANK YOU ALL!

TERIMA MY KASIHS!

THANK YOU SHAHIDA AKA SHA^CUTE!

LOVE KAU!!

=DDDDD

bdae boy turns 17

2006-10-04T19:48:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO MY FISHY FRIEND, FISH =D

MAY OL YOU WISHES COME TRUE!

HOPE YOU GET GOOD GRADES FOR YOUR O'S!

XOXO.

birthday ghurl turns 17

2006-09-30T23:56:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY DEAREST ZOOLAA!

XOXO.

fcuk

2006-09-11T23:55:00.000+08:00

I'm just oh so bored of saying all the fucking shits all over again and again untill I can just go on and on and on. Prelims are on and I am so like don't fucking care. I just don't seem to know what the hell is wrong with me.

I'm getting so tired with this computer. I'll just log in once in a while.
I'm so sick of this arguments my parents have been having.
WAHHH SO PESSIMISTIC LAH I HAVE NO LIFE ONE.
ALAH FUCK YOU LAH hhahaha.

ON HIATUS BABIES.

SEE YAH.

mood:: normal boredom

2006-08-28T16:06:00.000+08:00

hello all =D Dinch attend school today. What is going to happen to me? Sighs. But I am studying at home though. Lolx. Maybe meeting the bf later. I'm hungry. I feel like eating mee bandung sehs! It's been sooo long since I last ate that! hehehe somebody buy for me can?? =PPP

replies!
fidodido: hahahahs! ur heart the purestestest ehss.. =DDDD
linda: HELLO! =p
ZOOLAA: sighs. become anorexic uh. I wanna try surviving on water for 17 days! HAHAHAHA. Mati lah sehs gitu.
summer: alamak u call me idiot??? sedih siols.. ahahahahaha kla kla kla.. i love u lahhhhh =DDD
noi: elo elo elo elo elo elo at last dpt jumpe ehsss.. =DDDD
SAHA: EH HELLO SAHA! dinch noe u gt a blog! Miss ya too lah seh =D

life is unpredictable.

2006-08-23T22:26:00.000+08:00

If life is predictable, fate wouldn't exist. Nowadays, people judge their appearances more than the inside. When they see someone or a group "oh-so-cool" to them they will be like "Oh if I hang out with that group and I'll also be cool"

COME ON LAH.
THIS IS REALITY.

You simply can't get cool when you hang out with 'cool' people. You tend to end up being like a dog.

YOU HAVE A LIFE.
You do NOT have to follow people.
Just be yourself and upgrade your self-esteem, confidence, looks blablabla and you'll be prefectly fine yourself.
end of part one.

Part two.
I feel like cursing.
hmm......
WHY MUST YOU HAVE TO GET BACK AT ME FOR THE WRONG THINGS I DO.
BECAUSE YOU KNOW, DOING THAT MAKES THE STORY LONGER.
I LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO REPEAT WHAT I DO TO LET ME FEEL WHAT YOU FELT.
INSTEAD OF REPEATING THE SAME THING, THE SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM CAN ALWAYS BE DISCUSSED RATHER THAN TAKING STUPID CHILDISH REVENGE OR HATRED.
YOU ARE SO IMMATURE.

AND I DON'T CARE ALREADY.
I'M TOO USED TO YOUR ATTITUDE.
AND IN CASE YOU PEOPLE ARE WONDERING WHO AM I WRITING THIS TO?
HAHA SO WHAT IF I WRITE DOWN WHO IT IS WHEN NOT MANY PEOPLE ARE VISITING MY STUPID BLOG? HAHAH.

OK DAH.

BYEEEEEEEEEEE LOSERS.

nothing.

2006-08-18T21:02:00.000+08:00

Okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. One component of English is over! The oral was okay. I was nervous like usual while waiting for my turn. Reading the passage aloud was indeed quite loud and clear because all these time when I read a passage in an exam room with the examiners, my voice was always like shivering. Hahaha nervous. I only remembered that I mispronounced one word which I forgot what =D. Picture discussion was okay too.

Conversation was also okay but I screwed the last question!!!!!! Should have chosen practical terms rather than academic terms because practical terms that's learnt in schools can be applied to many job oppurtunities because most employers today look for experience rather than qualifications. AHAHAHA. shit la.

I miss my boy.

Replies:
ZOOLAA: tu arh. berg abes eh aku. hensem. AHAHAHAHA.
noi: hehehehe. not all the time. =D.
summer: nt to worry yeahhh. I will be back. Cheyy.. hehehe

get up.

2006-08-13T21:51:00.000+08:00

Went to Yana's son's birthday party with baby yesterday.But I forgot the baby's name. Hahaha sorry! I bought a cute lil elmo for him. He just turned 1. Dinch get to take his photo but I took Yana's sister's son picture instead =p.

covered with sand all over. =D.

Anyway, stayed overnight but I can't sleep well at night because I miss the bed at home and it's sooo hot inside and mosquitoes are flying all around. Hahaha. I spent 2 hours staying outside the tent, lie on a bench and walking by the beach alone, which was COMPLETELY insect free and the breeze was oh so nice and cool. Baby snapped at me because I crept out alone. But he dich even follow me! So lazy.. When I came back to lie down in the tent, baby occupied the whole tent. Wtf. Hahaha. I pushed him gently to the other side, lied down and somehow I slept.

I woke up like a lion the next day.

No make-up and hair not combed. But nevermind. Hahaha.

Then after that at around 2, after having a shower, Yana asked me to go join the fam playing captain's ball in the sea. I was bored so I changed clothes and went in with baby.

I was exhausted then ever. Went to Yana's place after that by car.

Took a cab home with baby after dinner.

Fuuh.

this is what happens when you are too near the camera and shake. -__-"

knn.

2006-08-11T23:28:00.000+08:00

so sorry eh ade sikit explicit content.

Fucking bloody cb. Buto largh fucking get c5 for my malay. Saket shials hati. Anak melayu pon tk phm malay language kape? Why largh my malay karat. Speak english at home somemore uh.

fuck uh.
meluap = asap.
mcm babi largh i put asap instead of api.
cb i put api already u know then i cancelled the api and put asap.
nie uh yg paling buat aku mcm shial.

fucking sway xia.
argh quit school largh.
nyahahahahahahhaahhahaha.
my maths already like shit sial...
atleast b3 dah okay for malay then i get c5.
suar nye marker2 paper malay.
retake?
fuck largh waste my fucking money.
if I still fail buang mase aku jek.
kalau aku pass malay aku pon tapi maths mcm sials ko nak aku uat pe?
blaja?
sial uh. aku blaja pon sket slow.

supermassive!

2006-08-01T00:23:00.000+08:00

FUCK THE LAST ENTRY!

HAHAHAHAHA!

I LOVE YOU B!

I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING!

HEHEHE =D.

SHOOT YOURSELF AND HOPE BUTTERFLIES WILL FLY OUT!

How old was I when I first...

2006-07-29T10:57:00.000+08:00

Had your first real kiss = 14 or 15 i think
Fell in love = A hopeless romantic will never remember that.
Lost someone close to you = Lost? U mean die? Dunnoe.
Tried alcohol = 15. Just a sip.
Got your heart broken = 14
smoked a cigarette = 15
Broken a bone = no hap. no hap.
Got cheated on = 14.
Rode the bus = When I was a baby~ Duhs~
Went to a concert = When I was 5.
Dyed your hair = 13.
Got a car = Not yet uhhh
Got your own cell phone = 10
Got a myspace = last month. 16 larrr.
Got your own digital camera = 16 .. now laaa.
First time u got drunk?= no hap. no hap.

my ass is hurting

2006-07-26T21:24:00.000+08:00

My hp bill shot up to 110. Good thing I had savings. But now left only 82 bucks. I wanna rebond my hair again. What about prom nite 06? Perhaps I'm going but what if Fida's not going? Then I won't go. Becuase if I go, I'll be all alone. So I'll think about this later. And I have to pay 60 bucks, which I don't have right now. I'm really saving to rebond my fucking hair. And eventually IF I go, I'll just wear last years's promdress with a twist of 70s. Next to the prom hotel is Zouk! I've been wanting to got there again. Before i was so small and cramped. But it's renewed! haix. I'm sad.

If only I am rich. Haha, but most of all, if only I have happiness.

screams of lust.

2006-07-24T20:11:00.000+08:00

I really don't know what to write. Anyways, I'll just keep on typing because eventually some topic will flash in my mind. Hehehehehehehhhh. Okay go.

♥SUNDAY.

I went out with someone who knew me oh-so-well. I had so much fun with the person yesterday. We went to far east to eat. Then window shopping. And then to marina centre to eat dessert at Swensens. We went to the arcade like kids. Then we sat at the riverside... It was oh-so-lovely.. =DDDD.. I really miss the times I had like this. Even though I hated him so much, he is still my lost teddybear. Aahahahaha =DDD. Feelings of loneliness were gone just like that, and for that, I forgot I had to be home by 7. By the time I reached home at 10, I got an earful from my dad. I TOLD YA IM A STUBBORN DONKEY. *jumps around*

TODAY.

I came late, even though I had to report to the principal by 7.15. I reached school at 9. I saw a teacher, I put up a BIGG SMILE with almost no breath and ran up to class. And there was, my english teacher, Mdm LBB. "Did you run away from my remedial class on Friday?" I said NOOOO. HEHEHEHEHE.

LAST FRIDAY.

Actually I didn't want to turn up for Mdm LBB's remedial lesson. Fida went to my house. Her lesson was about to start at 2. At around 2.30pm, Fida received a message from my classmate saying that she has to be in school by 3.30pm or else punishment will be served. I was sooo tired and I already changed to my normal home clothes. So Fida went to school. 5 minutes later, 2 of my classmates messaged me the same thing. I wonder, I wonder, I wonder, I wonder, I wonder, I wonder, I wonder, I wonder, I wonder...

I quickly put on my pe shirt, shorts, took my slinged-pouch. I rushed out of the house. And with my messy hair, I look like a lion. People kept staring.

AHAHAHAHAHA =D.

MDM LBB SAY, SAKINA, NEXT TIME DON'T RUN AWAY FROM MY LESSON HORR. IT DOES NOT BENEFIT YOU IN ANY WAY. OKAY?

I SAID, EHHHHHHHHH... OKAY CHEERS

=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

2006-07-19T19:49:00.000+08:00

I'm bored. So, I finally decided to post an entry to this oldd blog of mine. Ever feel like you're this small little person trying to scream for air in a massive crowd? Hahs. Anyway, I really have to watch myself when I'm stuck at home. Sometimes, I feel that there's something wrong with me. I have frequent headaches, I don't eat regular meals, my face is getting duller and I can't concentrate in school. Oh yeah, starting from tomorrow, I'll have to report to the stupid principal at 7.15am. And I just can't wake up early! If only I could get my job back. The funny thing is, when I was working, I could wake up early for school. But now without a job, I can't. I wonder why. Told ya there's something wrong with me. =D

I'm so so alone. Haha. Sometimes, when there's just no one to talk to, you tend to go to the last resort. Like for example, a past love. Well, my advice is that you NEVER EVER go to them without thinking twice. If you're comfortable, that is, of course you can.

I may be alone and useless with no one to really talk to, but I'm still struggling to live my life rather than thinking about suicide.

I promised myself that I will never talk to anyone about what I feel. I'll just state anything to describe how I feel, even though words are just not enough. Good people are really rare nowadays. Some people just say that they are by your side,you can never know whether the person is really sincere about it. So, don't blame me for not being supportive, I've tried and you just took everything I said like worthless counts of passing air.

To those who really have best friends, loved ones and you're always being remembered of, please treasure them. You really have them, it's just that you have so many other ones, you just can't tell which are diamonds and which are stones...

My parents? They are always working and sometimes arguing. My friends? I don't know where they are and we are just getting further apart. The ones I could really approach are the four walls of my house, my computer, my psp and a diamond called Fida.

I feel like I'm flying a kite which represents my life in the rain.

I just hope some miracle can happen...

fallentragedy

2006-07-18T19:40:00.000+08:00

I'm back! It's been so long~ and I have even bad news.

I am now using my computer in SAFE MODE. I repeat SAFE MODE. To all computer freaks, you should know what SAFE MODE is. =D ALL THE WORDS ARE BIIIGGG.
I'm under curfew for 6 bloody months.
I have to be back home at 7pm sharp.
IF I WANNA HAVE A JOB, I CAN ONLY GO ON 9-5 JOBS TILL FEBRUARY.
O levels are drawing nearer.
I FEEL FUCKED UP EVERYDAY.
I CAN'T GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS UNTIL LATE AT NIGHT.
I HAVE TO BE USED TO ROT AT HOME.
I WANNA GO OUT BUT ONLY UNTIL 7PM AND THAT SUCKS.
I HAVE NO MONEY. BUT NASEB BAEK MY PARENTS GIVE ME DAILY ALLOWANCE BUT MACAM KESIAN PULAK.
I BROUGHT THIS UPON MYSELF.
AKU TAKLE RAYE SAMPAI LARUT MALAM.
IF I'M LATE AND DIDN'T MEET THE CURFEW TIME I'LL BE GIVEN A WARNING.
TAPI TKPE, AKU TAHAN SAMPAI NEW YEAR'S DAY. PASAL AKU NAK TON.

I'm so stubborn like a donkey.

HELLO!

2006-06-22T23:36:00.000+08:00

HELLO I'M BACK. AND IT'S BEEN QUITE A LOOOOOONGGGG TIME SINCE I BLOGGED. SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE CLOSING DOWN THIS BLOG. TAKE A LOOK AT MY NEW LIFE!

NEWSFLASH!!
I don't have a job.
I don't have someone to support me.
I don't have much fun.
I don't like school.
I have kosong money.
I am so getting fat.
My future is ruined.

WELL, THAT'S OKAY. I JUST HOPE THESE THINGS GO AWAY FOREVER. I FEEL SO FCUKING PISSED OFF WITH MY LIFE. I CAN GO ON BRAGGING ABOUT IT, NO PROBLEM! BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE. I'M SO GLAD TO HAVE MY FRIENDS. I LOVE THEM. MY FAMILY, FRIENDS AND MY PSP ARE THE ONLY COMPANIONS I HAVE. HAHAHA. I'M SO PATHETIC.

SOME PEOPLE SAY I'M LAME. BOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. OH IS IT GONNA STOP ME FROM GOING ON WITH MY LIFE? WELL, STOP AND LOOK AT YOURSELF BUDDY. BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT SCREWED BY ME. AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, YOU'RE MUCH MORE LAMER THAN I THOUGHT. YOU LAUGH AT THE SLIGHTEST AND SMALLEST THINGS AND FOR THAT YOU'RE SO INSANE DUDE!

CHEERS!
wish me luck so I can get a job~

im engaged to smile.

2006-05-31T21:34:00.000+08:00

eloo! Went out with mondae today. Watch the Benchwarmers. Yeahness! NERDS RULE! HAHA! It was fun going out with him. Tomorrow will be movie day again! With the colleagues. I wanna shop for new clothes! The pay is in! Wheee!!!!!!!!!! lame.

Replies!
fanaaa: hehe.. okeeee! =DD
stark: oi oi oi oi oi ~
summer: ey nyonya. I miss you too lah~ oopS! =DDDDD
dee*ana: ahakx! ure not stupid la! go to system information. =D

peace & luvin it. Quite...

2006-05-29T14:32:00.000+08:00

Holla! I'm back! I think.. *wonders* I feel terrible now. I just do. Had my malay o level paper just now. It was okay. Just hoping that I could get at least a B something or whatever. Anyways, sorry for not putting up entries for quite a long time. I'm exploding you know! Exploding with problems! Who don't right? Everybody has problems! Haha lame. My hero is lost and gone now. I have no one by my side. I let go of my lover's hands. And I'm going crazy! I'm going back to be the old sad stupid girl I used to be. I'm trying hard not to though. I am...

I have to drag my ass to work today. Leaving home at around 3.50. So bored! But hell.. Haha. Life's been quite stressful and stupid, as it always do. I am free from the cage he set me in. Friends are my life now. Just living live as per normal. Well, of course I'll have trouble sleeping at night. Withdrawal symptoms =( Let time pass by and heal my heart.

I'm broke! I hate to be broke! I wanna go shoppp! Who wants to follow me? Hee.
Im little miss lonely now.

I have no life.
=D

bye!

I love you taggers! and the peoplesss!
people no 's' laaa.
hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. watever lahhhhh =x

leave me alone

2006-05-22T21:19:00.000+08:00

Sorry I've not been posting up entries.

I'm stressed with all sorts of problems.

Internal and external.

I hope you understand.

thanks.

=)))

visions of u & i

2006-05-07T20:39:00.000+08:00

Went out with the boyfriend yesterday. Treated me like a princess! Lolx. B treated me for lunch at Breeks! Cafe. Hehehe. So cute~ =)))) Then we went to marina city park. Relax and all. And suddenly it rained. From a drizzle to a heavy rain. And it was such such such a romantic view, and funny also. We marched, laughed like some crazy duo. I had to go home early, and his expression changed..

''Can't you stay a while longer?..''

I'm so bursting into tears inside. So, I stayed with him for awhile more while waiting for his family to arrive. We were at IMM. He accompanied me to the bustop and I went home, of course.

I am kinda grounded for two weeks for something I've done. I can still go out, but I have to be back early.

I really miss my b. I wish you are here with me right now. Even if my mum dislike me being with you, I'll still continue...

Because I love you.

I finally got my PSP. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ Let the peekchas say some wordsssssss~~~ =DDDDDDD

Mine's the one infront of his'. HeeXx.

Chicken pattie melted~ His order. Yumm~~

My order. Half chix lime&chilli. Yummmmmm..

My brand new PSP.. Modified~ WheeEeEe~

Zavier!!! My cutest of the cutest cousin..

End!!!
I LOVE YOU, B!

day 02

2006-04-23T20:47:00.000+08:00

Went to Dbl 0 for Platfrom 6 yesterday. It was fab-u-lo-so! =DDDD. Saw someone from the past. Hrmm... Anyway, Work was so boring today. I hate that hantu gigi at my workplace. Sucks man. Oke! Picchas!

Taufik and syed azmir @ Platform 6.

Azmir drinking water. Hahaha.

Grrr.

Actually, I'm lazy to type long2 you know... Heheheheheheheheehehehehee. =)))))
C ya!
Day 02, I'm missing you.

the day you went away

2006-04-21T23:57:00.000+08:00

Today is the boyfriend's NS day. I miss him so much even if I'm always pissed off with him.
Look at the profile man! Hopeless Romantic! Haizz.. He'll be out on 5th of may, damn long. Wonder what he's doing now. I wish I was there to accompany him.

School was so boring. I hate that shaver-teacher of mine. Once he looks down on you, forever it will be. Never trusts people he looked down on. He thinks it's fun to keep on paying for stuff. YOU ASKED ME TO BUY, I PAID AND YOU NEVER EVEN USED THE DAMN BOOK!. A total waste of my money. Why teachers like these even exist in Singapore...

Someone wrote my friggin number on the whiteboard! Luckily, the last 4 digits were wrong. My name was spelled wrong too. Haha. Don't think I don't know who you are. Dumbfcuk.

I failed my maths test again. I got 2 and a half for the first test. And 2 and a half AGAIN for the retest. If I'd knew I'd fail the stupid test, I wouldn't have taken it. Waste time.

I totally lost my mood being in school.
fuckedoma~!

And I got a plaque from NPCC. Hahaahaha. My first ever medal/plaque for 15 years. -_-"

Note to self; I miss you terribly.

The silent cries were for you.

2006-04-11T23:28:00.000+08:00

What did I ever do to deserve this life?
Why are you tearing me apart?
Why didn't you ever care?
Why am I surrounded by thorns?
Why am I not saved?
Why can't I forget this sadness?
Why did I ever come back?
Why can't the heartbreaking stop?
Why can't I just listen to my friends?
Why am I still here with you?
Where are you taking my heart to?
Why am I feeling this anger inside?
Why am I so stupid?
Why can't I be happy like anybody else?

Can you please help me? Help me bring back my life. I feel as of no use to be by your side. I'm feeling so down everyday. I am not faking anything. I can't forget about my sadness. I can't simply cry in front of you because it's your weakness. You would also get so mad when I do that, I don't understand why.

I've tried so hard to make you happy. Can't you see the change? Do you think I like to say anything bad about you? I feel so insecure. Even though I'm with you, I still feel so alone. We've together for almost a year now, don't you think it's waste if I always wanted a break up? Can't you just be supportive? Why must you always accuse me of not having time for you? Why must we end up like this?

I'm always there for you when you fall.

But what about me?...

Where have you been?...

linkchange + lifechange

2006-04-07T00:12:00.000+08:00

Actually I'm too lazy to update now. Anyways, first stop, I'VE ALREADY CHANGE MY BLOG ADD! =D. Haha. Lame.

I really wonder what makes someone to fall for you again after a break up. Worst, he's the one who asked for it. Reason being, not ready yet. Then why bother? I'm attached for almost a year now. I hope you understand. Fida told me that he has been single for 3 years after me. He tried looking for a replacement but no result. That, I could not believe. My most embarassing suprise was that he suddenly escorted me to school this morning! I was like, what the hell are you doing here??! And he was like totally malu and all. His course (ITE Balestier) starts at 12.30pm. And it was about 7.25am that morning! He also told me that he wanted to renew his passport. But still, what the hell are you doing here so early in the morning?!? Escorting me to school??!!! Fida also told me that he has been wanting to meet up. He would call me but I refuse to answer due to some reason. When I saw him and the situation, it was like, gees, it's been like bloody 3 years man. He also knew about my current relationship and the work-studies collision problem. Fida nye keje uh nie. And he wanted to patch things up with me. But I'm truly sorry, even though my current boyfriend can sometimes be a jerk, I'm still attached to him. So, I hope you respect my decision.

Seriously the boyfriend is getting on my nerves. We were happily talking then suddenly he changed his tone when I said he was like drama-ish. I said I was sorry and I was purely joking. He started to change his mood throughout the conversation. And I was like, ................ . Atleast, I am trying my best to communicate with him, bring out topics to talk about. Rather than wasting my time and money just to keep quiet on the phone. I might as well fly a kite in the rain and die =))))).

My boyfriend sometimes be the girlfriend instead of himself. And sometimes, I have to be the boyfriend. I am the one giving him advices, cheering him up and stuff. While he would just keep quiet and store it all up inside and refuses to share his problems. Then what's the use of me being here for you?
I really wonder.

My workplace's management sucks. Especially one of the managers (name disclosed). Perverted and has no sense of respect for his wife. Flirts around and stuff. Stupid fella. Tak sedar diri. Sometimes he would just hold my hands and I would brush it off. ARE YOU REALLY A MANAGER???! Fcuking hell I'm damn pissed off as there are eyes around watching man! Can you see I hate you! I even told you to stay far away from me! Fuck you deaf or what? knn ccb.

End.